The $1,500 Meltdown

I was in Vegas this weekend for the ITH Convention, which was held at The Plaza, Downtown. As most poker players should know, The Plaza is also holding their annual Ultimate Poker Challenge, which is a month long televised event ending with a 10K tourney next week.

Since the convention was over on Saturday night, I decided to try and win my way into the $1,500 NLHE event on Sunday. I played 1 satellite, because that is ALL they could get going, just not enough players/interest.

As a prelude to my ITH Convention trip report, yes, The Drunk Lady came out. She started drinking Saturday night after the ITH Main Event, and with the help of all her ITH'r friends, she had quite a good time playing $2/$4 drunk off her ass. She was able to get the ENTIRE table to match her shots, although she did 2 to their 1.

I stayed up all night. I played drunk, I continued drinking, and I played the satellite drunk. I busted out the first 8 people, then went heads up and proceeded to lose 5 races in a row and then busted out of the satellite, no time to even talk chop, and he had already refused a save when I had 12K in chips to his 2K.

So, I really wanted to play the event, and I had about $900 from the weekend left and knew that in order to buy in directly, I would have to get Bill's permission. I called him and we spoke about it for awhile, and he said that due to it being my last weekend and my last "hurrah" at live tournament playing, to GO FOR IT!! (GOD, I love my husband!) So I did, buying in directly and sat down with about 42 other entrants.

At the first table, I recognized a few players, but no known names, that I know of. I just couldn't get any cards, every time I made a raise, I was re-raised. every time I bluffed, I seemed to get callers, it just wasn't working to well for me. The hand that started the rush:

I was in the BB, UTG moves all in. UTG+1 calls. It's then folded around to me and I look down to 7d10d. I know it's not a "good" hand, but here is my chance to triple up and either bust out or make a serious comeback. I have no idea what I had in chips, but we started with 4500 and I believe I had around 1300, give or take.

The flop came 9h, Qc, 3d. UTG moved all in and the UTG+1 folded. UTG shows AA, I show my 7d10d, stating I either win big or lose big. We now know that I need perfect, perfect in order to win. The turn is 8s, so I now need a J or a 6, and low and behold, a beautiful 6 is peeled off and I triple up. Crazy, I know, but hey, that's poker.

I continued drinking while playing as I made the decision to just say "Fuck It" and play my last live tournament drunk and have fun, and see what I can do with it as I can't seem to win live tournaments sober.

I dominated. I kicked ass, I made calls that were questionable, then would suck out. I sucked out so many times, it was ridiculous.

JJ to his K, K and I get a J.
A Q to his J,J and I get an A.
77 to his 1010 and I get a 7.
Calling all in's with a draw on the flop and getting there.
Crazy stuff.

I had this guy at my table that everyone seemed to know, so I asked his name. He said Kevin. I said Kevin what, he said Kevin Smith. Hmmm. OK. Never heard of a well known named Kevin Smith. Turns out 5 mins later after calling him Kevin 10 times, he states "My name is NOT Kevin, Tanya, it's GAVIN". Dumb me, I have now met Gavin Smith and YES I know who he is. LOL.

I had another guy at my table, who I didn't know, but found out after busting him out that it was THE Vince Burgio. The guy has been dominating the UPC, winning two back to back and placing in the money several other times, etc. Here's that hand: It's the first hand after 1st break and this was my 2nd table after being moved. Both blinds are missing, not returning in time. I warn the other 3 players that were there that we would have to see who was going to be the one stealing their blinds. I am UTG and I see 5, 5. I immediantly raise to 4X the BB. Vince looks at me, and I tell him "I'm not stealing, I'll show if you all fold". He looks right at me and says, "I'm all in".

Hmmm. Well, don't piss off The Drunk Lady. I had him covered, I call. Sorry, don't know amounts, etc. He flips over K, 10. I show my 5, 5. Flop is Q high and then the turn peels off a 5, he's drawing dead, then tells me in a very polite way that I was stupid for calling his all in with a crap hand like 5,5. I mean it, he was very polite about it, just wanted to let me know how he felt about my call. I'm OK with it and still very much respect the guy. This is when I learn who he is as Gavin says, "Tough break Vince" Oh lordy, I just busted out THE Vince Burgio??? Yowzers.

So, we get down to 18 players, and I am chipleader. Top 7 get paid, and move to the final table which is televised, taping the next day at 3 pm. I continue playing the way I had been, continued drinking and knock out 3 from my table, other tables gets knock outs and next thing I know, we combine to a table with 9 players left.

I'm not sure about the chipstacks, counts, etc. I didn't pay attention to it, all I know is that I was in the top 3, easily.

This is where it all went wrong.

Depending on how you look at it, I either majorly screwed up or didn't.

I made the decision to continue playing aggressively and try to build up my stack so that I would be chipleader at the final table. This is where opinions will vary as to whether I should have done that, or if I should have stopped playing, not play a single hand JUST to make sure I made the top 7.

As you all know, one of my goals and dreams is to be on a televised event, this was my chance, I wanted it so much that perhaps, maybe, I should've played the chicken role just to get to my goal, but instead decided to be aggressive and play. I had a LOT of railbirds due to my ITH'r friends still being there, and noone (that I recall, but remember I was drunk) gave me any advise or hints and tips, they basically just said, "Take it Down" and let me play my game.

I was out in 2 hands.
Out in 9th place.

O
U
T

I am in the BB, I think it was 800/1600 at this point. The button raises to 4000, I look down to KsJs and I call. (I think I was at 40-50K). The flop was K, 3, 6 and I move all in, he immediantly calls and flips over A, A. I get no help, and I double him up.

I am crippled, down to about 8-9K and I know that any hand I get that is playable, I am moving all in. The very next hand, in the SB, there is a LP raise of All In. He has me covered, I look down to A,Q and I call. He shows J,J. Flop is all rags, with 2 clubs. The turn is a beautiful Qc. The river looks to be like a harmless 9, but then I see that it's a club. 4 clubs on the board, he holds Jc in his hand, and I am OUT.

I walk away quickly. I don't look or speak to anyone, I simply leave. I am walking towards the casino exit, to get some air, calm down, not cry, etc. Until I feel a hand on my shoulder, it's Ammbo from ITH. He was one of my sweaters and a true friend. We walked outside, he let me cry it out and cry I did. We talked about 10 mins, I sat and commiserated, we talked about whether it was a good decision or not to play the style, I was calming down. He trys to distract me and get me to sit with him at PaiGow and teach him how to play, I knew the distraction would work so I agreed. We sit down, and then I decide, wait, I need to call Bill.

I called Bill and before he even answered, I had a meltdown.

I'm surprised Bill could even understand a single word I was saying, I was literally sobbing and couldn't speak too clearly. I had a complete and TOTAL meltdown, I made Mike "The Mouth" Matusow look good, THAT'S how bad it was.

What a woman. Playing in a man's world and then breaks down like a little bitch in front of the other players.

I do believe that the alcohol (I estimated 50 shots over 25 hours), lack of sleep (awake for 40 hours) contributed to the Meltdown. It lasted about an hour, and then my wonderful friends took over.

They treated me exactly the same, simply trying to distract my mind, inviting me to the NL table, inviting me to the $2/$4 game, making sure I had shots, cigarettes, signing up for the 12AM tourney with me, anything.

I decided that I was hungry and so Torch (ITH'r) went with me to the Diner across the street (That San Francisco casino??). I had calmed down, but was coming down HARD. I was falling asleep at the table and looked like all those drunk people you see and make fun of when your sober. Torch took control and decided that I would not play the 12 AM tourney and needed to crash. I agreed with him, but it took me hearing it to really realize it, so we went back to The Plaza. He wasn't going to let me go back to the poker room because he knew I would probably change my mind and try to continue playing. However, I felt I had to go back to the poker room and say Bye to everyone. I really felt that all my friends, both ITH'rs and other friends that I had made this weekend were very supportive, and felt bad for me and were totally understanding of my meltdown.

OR they were all just being nice and talked about me behind my back, who knows?? LOL

I said my good byes and Torch walked me to my room where I then crashed, falling asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. I woke up around 5AM for some reason, so I only slept for 5 hours, which is odd as my body should have shut down and I should have slept for at least 10 hours, but maybe my body is used to my strange sleep habits of the past 6 weeks. I decided it was time to go and left for the drive home right then and there.

I am a little embarrassed to post this blog, but then again, I'm not. I decided that you can only be embarrassed or ashamed about things you choose to be, so I have decided to not be about this incident. I feel that I am just such an emotional person who cares very deeply and passionately about poker, and I just happen to show it whereas other players may not.

That's just me, take it or leave it, love me or hate me.

I am so deeply, deeply thankful of my friends. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all who were there and to all who helped me out. I will always hold a special place in my heart now for Torch and Ammbo for being true, true friends.

To all my haters, try not to leave TOO much flaming on my comments, it will hurt my feelings which are still pretty damn raw and then you'll be known as an asshole to the people who DO like me. (ha ha ha)


EDIT:
Well, this post has already generated a lot of heat/talk on my forums. Contrary to popular belief, I do NOT have a drinking problem. I went on a six week WSOP binge, which happened to include drinking and it's a little frustrating when I'm labeled an "alcoholic" or as someone with a "serious problem" but noone says a word to other people who did the SAME thing I did. It's OK for a 23 yo college kid to have fun and party and drink every night while in Vegas, but it's not OK for me?? I just don't get it. Double standards SUCK, lol.

Also, I did not mean to imply that I made no mistakes......HELLOOOOO it was ALL my fault, and I take full responsibility and that's why it hurt me so much because I KNEW it was me, not THEM. So I apologize if I came across as being "boo hoo" me. That wasn't my intention.